last night my father said “good night mario” because i had been driving him around today and apparently going too fast, like the car racer mario andretti
but i didn’t know what he was talking about so i just sleepily replied “good night luigi”
So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.
AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..
AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…
Sin tries to convince us that Christ remembers every mistake we make; Grace tells us that Christ remembers every tear we shed.
The reality is that Jesus will wipe away both.
It’s funny because Malfoy’s has all sorts of comments and then you scroll down and it’s just Harry doing his thing.
I just had a grown man tell me to “go make me a sandwich” as I was doing his pourover
I told him I didn’t understand what he meant because we’re a coffee shop, and he was like “oh it’s a joke” and I said I “didn’t get it” and he went “it’s funny because you’re a woman working in a kitchen”
And I just stared at him until he got how stupid he sounded
let them feel their ignorance burn into their souls
There are books so alive that you’re always afraid that while you weren’t reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away. No one has stepped twice into the same river. But did anyone ever step twice into the same book?